The Shadow Fear: How Perfectionism is Holding You Back

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The Shadow Fear: How Perfectionism is Holding You Back from the Progress You So Desperately Want

Let's face it, we all want to succeed, we all want to progress, and we all want to grow. However, at times, we may put so much pressure on ourselves to do things perfectly that we don't leave room for mistakes, or we are so hard on ourselves that we avoid the potential shame of perceived failure by not even trying. This fear of failure is known as the shadow fear, and it's one of the many reasons why perfectionism is holding you back from the progress you want so badly.

The Double-Edged Sword

Perfectionism may seem like a desirable trait at first glance, but in reality, it's like a double-edged sword. It can motivate you to work harder and achieve more, but it can also lead to anxiety, procrastination, and self-doubt. Moreover, when you chase perfectionism too much, you may start to avoid challenges altogether as you don't want to risk failure or mistakes. This, in turn, limits your growth and prevents you from learning and improving from your experiences.

The Shadow Fear

That's where the shadow fear comes in. This fear is often rooted in the belief that you're not good enough, and you need to prove yourself by being perfect in everything you do. This belief is often a result of early childhood experiences, where your caregivers may have unknowingly or knowingly placed high expectations on you, instilling a sense of inadequacy and unworthiness. And, as you grow up, this belief may become internalised, creating a vicious cycle of self-criticism and perfectionism.

Reparenting Yourself

The good news is that you can combat this shadow fear by treating yourself with compassion and care. You need to learn to reparent yourself, just like a parent would guide and comfort a child. You can do this by acknowledging that making mistakes is okay, and that's how you learn and grow. You can also practice self-compassion by not being too hard on yourself when things don't go as planned. Instead, you can remind yourself that you're human, and you're allowed to make mistakes. In fact, mistakes are an important element of growth. 

The Illusion

It's also essential to realise that no one starts off as perfect. Everyone has to start somewhere, and the journey to progress is often filled with ups and downs. By integrating the fact that chasing perfectionism is not real and hinders us, we can start to grow and evolve with compassion, joy, and courage in our journey. Moreover, when we allow ourselves the opportunity and freedom to make mistakes, we can learn from those mistakes, and that's what truly propels us forward. Don’t wait until your ‘perfect’ - perfection is an illusion and you will grow much quicker by giving it a go, jumping in and learning along the way!

In Summary…

Perfectionism is not a desirable trait but a shadow fear that often stems from early childhood experiences. It can hold us back from the progress we so desperately want by causing anxiety, procrastination, and self-doubt. However, we can combat this fear by reparenting ourselves, practicing self-compassion, and acknowledging that making mistakes is part of our growth and learning. By integrating these methods, we can start to grow and evolve with compassion, joy, and courage and make progress towards our goals. So, don't let perfectionism hold you back any longer. Take the first step towards progress by embracing your imperfections and learning from them.

Do you resonate with being a ‘perfectionist’? Do you feel like this is holding you back? Learn how to release this and find true growth and self love.

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